I was an
adolescent during the apex of Tupac’s career and as a fan of east coast style
rap and hip hop, I was not interested in much of his music at the time. I remember
being a kid and understanding that he was brilliant, unique, and a special
individual but I did not have the conscious awareness to appreciate the essence
of his mission. Though not a fan
of his music, I have ALWAYS respected his mind, linguistic ability, and the
person Tupac was.
I was
compelled to write this blog in regards to my experience of watching the biopic
ALL EYEZ ON ME. As
mentioned, there were things about the movie that I enjoyed and the platonic
relationship between Tupac and Jada Pinkett was one of them. Both of these young people were prominent sex
symbols in the 90’s. There appeared to
be an attraction between them and word-on-the-street (as shown in the movie) is
that they did not ever have sex. I
cannot emphasize enough how much I appreciate that type of situation and energy
being broadcast to the mainstream. As a
man who is continuing to grow in sexual discipline, and as a depth psychotherapist,
I can tell you that the world would be a much better place if people would exercise
more sexual discipline. You may not
completely master sexual discipline, but gaining more of it will surely induce
more self-mastery and inner peace. In
watching the interactions and dynamics between Jada and Tupac I was extremely
happy to see this element brought to life and I hope viewers understand its
significance.
Even
though ALL EYEZ ON ME was a great
movie (in the definition I provided above), I was extremely stressed throughout
85% of the movie and as sad as the last part was, I was emotionally distraught
well before seeing what happened to Tupac in the final scenes. Here’s why…
I am a depth thinker. It is
difficult for me to see things solely on the surface because my mind is unorthodoxly complex in how it processes
things. Because of this, I am a depth psychotherapist
and have written books about depth
psychology. As I watched ALL EYEZ ON ME I
kept becoming appalled and frustrated at seeing a movie released in “2017” that
was documenting a period in the early 1990’s (over 20 years ago) with vernacular,
fashion, swagger, musical content, etc. that looked nearly no different than
today in “2017”. To me it symbolized
a lack of growth and evolution in certain parts of black America and other
sectors of gangster rap and hip hop. For
quite some time, I have been giving lectures, holding workshops, and writing
about the detriment and generational stagnance that 90’s gangster rap
brought. For example, many black men who
were in their 20’s and 30’s in the 90’s have not mentally evolved with their
chronical age. These men still dress and
talk similar now as they did then. In
counseling psychology, we describe that as being developmentally stuck. Being developmentally stuck tends to happen
to drug addicts who use narcotics early in life. If and when they get clean, they typically
have to start developing from the point in life where they became addicted. In my opinion, this concept can be applied to
non-drug users of the 90’s who are still addicted
to the spirit of who they were (or thought they were) at that time [in the
90’s]. I have a saying that age grows on everybody but not everybody grows
into their age. I am 32 years of age
and for the past 10 years of my young adulthood, I have seen grown black men,
well into their 40’s and 50’s, on a daily basis, sagging their pants, talking
amongst their peers as if they are 20 years old, and doing everything in their
power to stay connected to their youth.
Other than two white males who had severe mental health issues, I have
not ever seen men of any other race who were past 40 sagging their pants and
behaving in extreme developmentally inappropriate ways. In 2001, when I was a teenager, I predicted
that the spirit and personality of the elderly would forever be drastically
different than the average elderly person we saw then. I prophesized that eventually the men and
women who grew up off of artists likes Marvin Gay, Whitney Houston, Michael
Jackson, and Prince would eventually die off and the new elderly person would
be driving down the street blasting DMX, Biggie, and The Lox. Not only was I correct, it happened sooner
than I thought. I have conducted
business with black doctors who have, mid conversation, felt compelled to lean
on their hood roots. I have had first
encounters with professional black men who feel the need to glamorize their
days of hustling and shoot outs with enemies; even though we were having a
business lunch to discuss topics completely unrelated to their ‘glory
days’. I am not sure how the
conversation even went in that direction.
I was reminded of all these experiences and things as I watched ALL EYEZ ON ME. As epic as the 90’s was, I personally look
back on it as a dangerous era for the future of black people and other parts of
the world. It is not ok that a lack of
decency and tact has become the new norm.
I am not
blaming Tupac or anyone affiliated with the movie for my stressful experience
but I am saying, 100%, that it disgusts me that [large amounts of black people
in particular] have shown no earnest desire to improve the culture. In 1996, I was
11 years old and there is no documentary or biopic created in the 90’s about
the 1970’s that looks exactly like the early 1990’s. In the early 1970’s black people had a
different style of music (more tactful), a different lingo, and an all-around
different type of style and way of being. But in 2017 a biopic can be released about
the 90’s and it looks like the exact same people are alive today doing the
exact same thing because symbolically…many of them are. As I watched the movie and was thinking about
doing this blog, part of me said ‘No Shawn, don’t write it. People will think you’re hating.’. I was at a paradox because though I thought
it was a great movie, I also felt strongly about the lack of black progression
it shows. I even asked some of the
teenage kids I mentor what they thought about the movie and many had similar
reflections as me. One of them said,
“It’s weird to see a movie about a time before I was born but it looks like
today.” I asked him what he thought
about his own reflection, he said, “It shows we haven’t really gotten too
far.” Hearing that was the final
confirmation for me to write this blog. I
hope readers are aware that I am by no means trying to defame this project or
his legacy. I am simply sickened at one
symbolic aspect of the movie that few people seem to recognize or care to recognize. Maybe I take this personally because I am a
black man who is trying to improve myself beyond what society says about people
like me. Maybe I take it personally
because I am a black husband, a black father, a black uncle, a black son, a
black grandson, a black brother, etc…maybe...
I can definitely tell you that one of the reasons I take it personally
is because I am a black person who cares, and thinks extremely highly
and humbly of himself. Furthermore,
since I am seen as one representative of black people I am not going to
acquiesce to any subprime ways that I see certain black people try to represent
ME. It is not wise to fight every battle
we encounter so I ignore a lot of tactless, ignorant, and inappropriate
behavior that I see, but as the instrument(s) that I am – and that we all are –
I am not created to play quiet and silent all of the time.
Most
people went to see ALL EYEZ ON ME
because it is a movie about Tupac. Others
went to see the movie because the 90’s
was “their era”. Some may have gone to
see it because it was another potentially “classic” hip-hop film. I admit that part of me wanted to see it for
all of these reasons as well but while watching it in depth, I saw something a
bit different. If ALL EYEZ ON ME was to be solely about Tupac and one era of music
then it was seen by ALL EYES BUT MINE.
#ExpandYourPerspectVe
#GetATherapist
#GetACoach
#SelfImprovement
#SexualDiscipline
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PerspectVe LLC 08/24/2017
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